Are You A Social Master Or A Novice?

By Ange Fonce

What is the difference between a novice social artist and an expert one?

No, it is not routines.

It is not an unshakeable inner game.

It is not even experience.

The difference between a novice and an expert is this:

The expert understands and follows the model of building a relationship while the novice freestyles and leaves it to chance.

To clarify, things can be spontaneous and in the moment and will not always follow some cookie cutter flow chart, yet you will build better connections if you have the understanding of how to do that. Some people are natural experts at this.

If I can pinpoint one of the most impactful pieces of advice that I can give, is that if you want to build any kind of relationship, you have to follow that model to gain that understanding.

Many people are able to get into conversations pretty easy yet after a few minutes, the conversation slowly died, and they would politely excuse themselves and they were left wondering what they did wrong.

The reason was that they did not know the model of how a relationship is built causing them to miss key steps or unknowingly skip ahead.

Now for those that are not familiar or need a refresher, the structure of building any kind relationship is this.

And to clarify, this is what I have developed from listening to others and from experience myself and there is no manipulation even required. It is just understanding how social courting works.

Let me explain...

Starting a Conversation & Making a Good First Impression

I first noticed that in any kind of relationship, conversation first needs to be initiated. Saying "Hi, my name is..." is an OK way to start a conversation, however, it fails to convey any type of personality and puts the conversational burden on the other person.

What you want to do is take the burden off them while conveying your personality. One of the best ways to do that is by using a prepared conversational starter. Ideally, you want it to be open-ended and something genuinely interesting. Both work together naturally to begin the conversation and make an excellent first impression.

Building Interest & Intrigue

Most conversational starters have a short shelf life. You can only talk about something for so long until the person gets bored and politely turns away. This is why that once you have successfully and comfortably started the conversation, it is important to build interest and intrigue so that way they find you fascinating and want you to stay rather than a bore and waiting of for you to leave.

There are many ways to build interest and intrigue, yet they all boil down to one thing: demonstrations of higher value. 

In layman's terms, you want to do things that add to the interaction and paint you in a positive light, not take away from it. This can be done through things like engaging or funny stories, personality cold-reads, or fun games.

Comfort & Trust

Personally, this is my favorite part. 

It is where the relationship starts to bloom, and each person starts to see the other for more than what is on the surface.

People, these days are used to walking around with their guards up because they feel like everyone they meet wants something from them. Yet when you focus on building comfort and trust, it allows for walls to come down and true connection to actually occur.

Continuing The Relationship

By this point in the model, if followed correctly, both parties are comfortable and have formed a connection with one another. 

Depending on the nature of the relationship, there needs to be something that signifies that you and the other person want to continue the relationship past that initial interaction.

If romantic, for example, the continuing of the relationship could be in the form of a kiss or an exchange or contact information. Or if professional, it could be done in the form of a business meeting or signed contract.

Now if you find yourself struggling at any of these stages, it is likely the result of failing to complete the one before it, which is why it is important to follow the model in order instead of trying to freestyle it.

Have you any thoughts or comments you would like to share with me on what I have written?

Please comment below.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Loving, Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely

Coach Ange Fonce

Ange is an Dynamic Personal Development Coach who works with those men and women who want to personally and powerfully develop their confidence, relationships, sexing, health and wealth!

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