Are You A Leader In Your Relationships

By Ange Fonce

"Before you are a leader, success is all about growing yourself. When you become a leader, success is all about growing others." ~ Jack Welch

Most of us to various degrees are ambitious... rational and proud. 

And we do not fall in line with people who do not respect us and who we do not think have our best interests at heart. 

We are willing to follow leaders and only to the extent that we trust they call on the best of our selves and not our worst.

The leaders who work most effectively it seems to me never say I and that is not because they have trained themselves not to say I it is they do not think I.

Successful leaders think we they think team and they think WIN WIN! 

They understand their role is to be able to make the relationship  of the team function and they accept responsibility and do not sidestep it and WE gets the credit and this is what creates trust and what enables you to get the task done.

Divorced from ethics leadership is reduced to management and even bullying and relationships to mere technique... manipulation and control and most important that you as a leader can conceive and articulate goals that lift others around you out of their petty preoccupations and unite them in pursuit of objectives worthy of their best efforts and when your actions inspire others to dream more... learn more... do more and become more... you are a leader.

The most dangerous leadership myth is that leaders are born and that there is a genetic factor to leadership and this myth asserts that people simply either have certain charismatic qualities or not. 

That is nonsense and in fact the opposite is true.

Leaders Are Made Rather Than Born

Leadership must be based on goodwill of those who choose you to lead them.

Goodwill does not mean posturing and least of all pandering to others and it means obvious and wholehearted commitment to helping those who respect and look up to you.

That is the real ART of leadership is SERVING those you lead.

Such leaders are men or women who are so helpful that they in effect do away with the need of their jobs and leaders like that are never out of a job and never out of people who respect and admire them and strange as it sounds great leaders gain authority by giving it away.

Leadership is not magnetic personality that can just as well be a glib tongue. 

It is not making friends and influencing people that is flattery.

Leadership is lifting a persons vision to higher sights the raising of a persons performance to a higher standard the building of a personality beyond its limitations.

Leadership is not so much about technique and methods as it is about inspiring others to be the best of themselves. 

Leadership is about inspiration of oneself and of others.

Great leadership is about human experiences and not processes.

Leadership is not a formula or a program it is a human activity that considers others and it is an attitude not a routine.

Because as a leader your role often includes changing your peoples attitudes and behavior. 

10 Suggestions To Accomplish This

Principle 1... 

Begin with praise and honest appreciation.

Your success is directly related to your clarity and honesty about who you are and who you are not... where you want to go and how you along with those you lead are going to get there. 

When you are clear about your values... purpose and goals you will find the energy and passion to do great things.

Principle 2... 

Call attention to peoples mistakes indirectly.

Because people are not assets to be used or put down... they are human beings who have the capacity to achieve results beyond what is thought possible. 

You need to get rid of rules and real and imagined and directly encourage the independent thinking of others and for themselves. 

And indirectly address their behavior and not the person.

Principle 3... 

Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.

Caring is not a sign of weakness and rather a sign of strength and it cannot be faked within any kind of relationship with the family you serve or in the local or global community. 

Without trust and caring you will never know what could have been possible. 

Without freedom from fear you cannot dream and you cannot reach your fullest potential.

Principle 4... 

Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.

Put the time into listening even to what is not said and amazing results will follow. 

You will know what others want from you... you will know why the passion is missing from your relationships... you will learn solutions to problems that have been sitting there waiting to be solved.

Principle 5... 

Let the other person save face.

No secrets... no lies of omission... no hedging and dodging. 

Take responsibility and say what needs to be said with care and respect.

Principle 6... 

Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement.

Be hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise... find the sweet spot of passion... purpose and persistence

“It is all about the people.” 

Is not an idea it is an action

Feel... think... do. 

Find the balance and act.

Principle 7... 

Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.

Use all the principles to guide you during the hardest times... if the challenge is too big and if you are stuck then take smaller bites. 

And remember to put people first and you will find the guidance you need.

Principle 8... 

Use encouragement and make the fault seem easy to correct.

Leading can be the noisy like the kind of thing...

“I am here.” 

And do not ever forget that leaders are just ordinary human beings and do not let the noise crowd out the truth and listen to your own inner wisdom and listen to wisdom of others around you.

Then you make your choice to take action

Principle 9... 

Make the other person happy about doing the things you suggest.

Big dreams mean big goals and big joys. 

Say yes and enjoy all that you are doing and help others to do the same.

And finally the BIG ONE...

Principle 10... 

Your Personal Attitude.

The manner in which you approach any situation is crucial to the results that you ultimately achieve and if you can maintain a positive attitude you will always be able to find the upside in almost any situation.

While I am completely aware that it is sometimes hard to maintain a positive attitude I am totally convinced that doing so makes a significant difference in the results you achieve.

Your attitude determines your mindset... it is the foundation on which your responses sit. 

The attitude you choose to have and yes it is your choice will determine how effective you are.

To maintain a positive attitude it is important that you...

Practice These 3 Things

Trust in your choice... 

Because you must trust in your ability to choose your attitude and your responses in any given situation. 

No matter how hard it may seem... how you respond to circumstances and the people around you is your choice

You are the master of your own life and the choices you make determine it.

Trust in possibilities... 

Make no assumptions and embrace change this is how you create the choice for possibilities

When you trust in possibilities it opens your mind to new worlds some of which you have only imagined and even the ones you have not. 

This mindset significantly impacts your attitude in a positive way because when you are open instead of closed and your experiences are richer and you feel a whole lot better.

Trust in the future... 

Because your attitude will be acutely affected by your actions NOW for the future. 

If you have no trust in yourself and others then your attitude will be one of pessimism and cynicism. 

If you truly work and take action now for the future and a better tomorrow then your attitude will reflect it and so will your choices.

The way that you approach your life and your outlook for the future are the fuel for a positive attitude

Without a positive attitude it will be hard for you to imagine a better tomorrow. 

This is why your mindset is so important to your success and to improving your personal leadership and personal relationships.

Great leaders are almost always great simplifiers who can cut through an argument... debate and doubt to offer a solution everybody can understand.

And will get behind to act upon to make it happen.

Have you any thoughts or comments you would like to share with me on what I have written?

I would love to hear from you.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Loving... Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely

Dynamic Lifer... The Tribe of Dynamic Lifers

1... A person with a penchant for Science... creativity... books... writing... communication... fitness... women... sexing... sexuality... human relationships... psychology... physiology and any other area involving heavy use of the Intellect.

2... A bright person and glamorously Intelligent!

3... Ange is an Author... Speaker and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist... Sexologist and Multipreneur... who works with those men and women who desire to personally develop themselves and their relationships to become Dynamic Lifers... creators of their own life... relationships and wealth! 

4... If you are Happy and you Know it... you are becoming a Dynamic Lifer!

To Speak to Ange and arrange a consultation for what you would like help with CLICK HERE

"Transformation happens when people fall in love with a different version of themselves and future!"

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