All Male Female Relationships Are Passive Aggressive Relationships 

By Ange Fonce


So... who if anyone is not "guilty" here?

The term "passive...aggressive" can be a clinical diagnosis... yet in this article on "passive... aggressive relationships" I will use the term in a "non clinical" sense... since most times when you hear someone refer to "passive... aggressive relationships"... it is usually a woman grumbling about her man supposed faults... or the other way around... the man complaining about the woman supposed faults.

In the "real world" outside of "clinical psychology"... the term "passive... aggressive" would be an oxymoron since passiveness and aggressiveness are polar opposites... and "passive... aggressive relationships" are not fun for either sexes. 

So let us look at the real world definition... the Concise Oxford Dictionary defines "passive... aggressive" as meaning...

"Being marked by... or displaying behaviour characterized by the expression of negative feelings... resentment and aggression in an unassertive passive way"... such as the behaviours of "procrastination"... and "stubbornness."

The Expression Of Emotions...

Resentment... procrastination... stubbornness... how are any of those "aggressive?" 

They are not "overt aggression" in the "physical sense."… 

Physical aggression would involve some form "physical action"... against another. 

Rather... these feelings that are termed "negative"...are "natural human emotions" for any person who is placed in a situation where he or she feels they are being treated in a "negative" and "unfair" way... they are more of an "emotional... psychological" response in a non overt "passive" way.

An Analogy From The World Of Work...

What if your Boss announced a 40% pay cut for all employees of your company and not long after he receives a 10 million bonus for "effective cost cutting."

Would you not have strong "negative thoughts" about that upward "income redistribution"... and experience powerful "emotions" of "resentment"... and "anger" about such an "unfair deal?"

The probability is... you would greatly "resent" this deal and the "unfair treatment" of yourself... and others... you would find it difficult to generate enthusiasm for coming in early... working hard all day and then staying late for no extra overtime pay... of course you will... you were designed that way. 

Does that mean those employees have "passive aggressive relationships" with their employer in a clinical sense? 

It would be more accurate to say that the employees had been "dumped on" and did not enjoy the experience... and you may respond in a "passive" way... by "non cooperation"... which can be "interpreted" as "non overt aggression"... if you rebel by taking "physical action"... then you are responding in an "overt aggressive" way.

Are you following me here... "aggression" can be "overt" in the form of "physical aggression"... and "non overt" in the form of "passive resistance" and "non compliance"... in an "emotional" and "psychological" way.

The Emotional Dynamics Of Relationships...

That same "emotional and psychological dynamic" plays out in "male... female relationships"... when your partner treats you poorly... he or she might mislabel your "non aggressive passive response"... which is a good thing... as being an "aggressive response".... which is a bad thing... he or she will then call white "black" and act as if you are the "bad one"... and most men and women will not take the other to task for trying to pull that "scam" on them... lest they turn "physically aggressive"... and unfortunately this happens more often to women when they do "challenge" such "emotionally aggressive" behaviour... they receive the "physical aggressive" response!

So where does that leave male... female relations?

The reality is that ALL male...female relationships are "passive... aggressive relationships"... to a greater or lesser degree.

And that both males and females engage in forms of "passive... aggressive behaviour" in the practice of relationships. … 

We all take exception to being mistreated... both male and female... in fact the single most "extreme example" of "passive... aggressive behaviour" in relationships... even has its own name... "the cold shoulder."

Everyone knows what that phrase means in a "relationship setting"... and were men tend to be more overtly "physically aggressive" devastating... everyone knows which of the two genders is the more "skilled" practitioner of this devastating "emotional" and "psychological" non overt tactic... women.

Do either men or women have have any claim to the "moral high ground" when it comes to "passive... aggressive behaviours" in relationships? 

Hardly... nether men nor woman can lay claim to any "moral" or "ethical authority" over each other... both sides practice and engage in "passive... aggressive behaviour" towards each other... it is just that men and women engage in "passive... aggressive behaviour"... in different ways.

Men are more “physical” and direct in their practice of “passive... aggressive behaviours” and women are more “emotional" and "psychological” sophisticated in their practice of “passive... aggressive behaviours”... and simply put... both styles of “passive... aggressive behaviours” are as equally damaging to the “mental” and “physical” wellbeing of either sex!

If you are looking to learn more about "passive... aggressive relationships"...or about "fighting in relationships" or other advice on improving your relationships. 

Please Contact me. 

Thank you and may you enjoy a Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely


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Ange is an  Author... Speaker... and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist and Sexologist... who works with men and women who desire to personally develop themselves and their relationships to become Dynamic Lifers... creators of their own life and wealth! 


To Speak to Ange CLICK HERE



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