Actually You Can Change Them By Changing You

By Ange Fonce

“You can’t change someone.”

You have heard that before, right?

On a fundamental level, it is true. And you should never go into a relationship thinking you can fix someone. 

Do not approach a romance like a “project.”

Yet what about those frustrating arguments that you keep coming back to? 

Things that might even seem nitpicky from the outside and keep causing problems between the two of you.

In a frustrating situation like this, it is natural to focus on how you want to change him or her to get them to finally understand your point of view. 

Unfortunately, he or she thinking the same thing.

So what is the solution?

Use a different input... your behavior to get a different output... how he or she reacts.

If you are stuck in a rut, repeating the same interaction that gets you nowhere does not make sense.

So, what should you try instead? 

Well, here is my suggestion.

Become experts at explaining the other person’s point of view. He or she has to cooperate for this to work. And it does not work if you get sarcastic. You have to really try to say in your own words what you think the other person is feeling, and why they keep saying what they have been saying.

It is amazing how often this results in a breakthrough for couples. 

Instead of both of you yelling louder and louder to get the other person to understand your point of view, one of two things happens:

First... You finally see what it was about your perspective he or she does not understand.

Second... You both feel emotionally affirmed that the person has truly heard you, and as a result, the emotional tension surrounding the issue melts away leading to more loving conciliatory gestures from both of you.

Treat it like practice. 

You both try to state the other person’s point of view and then ask for feedback until you get an affirmative nod from your partner that you have fully captured the situation from their point of view.

Have you any thoughts or comments you would like to share with me on what I have written?

I would love to hear from you.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Loving... Prosperious and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely

Ange Fonce

1... A person with a penchant for Science... creativity... books... writing... communication... fitness... women... sexing... sexuality... human relationships... psychology... physiology and any other area involving heavy use of the Intellect.

2... A bright person and glamorously Intelligent!

3... Ange is an Author... Speaker and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant and Coaching Psychologist... Sexologist and Multipreneur who works with those men and women who desire to personally develop themselves and their relationships to become creators of their own life, relationships and wealth! 

4... As ever always leave a man or a woman all the better for knowing you. 

To Speak to Ange and arrange a consultation CLICK HERE

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