6 Steps To Change Your Internal Dialogue

And Reframe Your Attitude For Powerful Influence

By Ange Fonce

Do you talk yourself out of success. 

Improving the words you use to describe your own experience can make your future brighter... everyone in business and relationships... those who work hard on personally developing themselves know that words are important. 

Some companies spend millions to get the perfect wording for their corporate marketing and sales messages and those who work on themselves know how powerful the use of words can be... they can lift a person up when used in a positive manner or drag a person down when used in a negative manner and since words are important it is absolutely crazy to be careless when you are communicating with the most important person in your world... YOU!

Just as the words you use to describe your company to customers predetermine how successful your company will be... the words you use when you talk to your partner and most importantly... the words you use to talk to yourself by that I mean in your own mind predetermine how successful you will be in so much of your life.

If your internal dialogue constantly uses words that leech away your energy... you will always be fighting an uphill battle... what is more that negative self talk has a habit of slipping into the words you say to others which can cast a negative outlook on everything you do.

By contrast if your internal dialogue uses words that uplift you... you are greasing the wheels to become more successful and a positive internal dialogue is inevitably echoed in your day to day speech... making those around you more success prone too.

Because this is an important point which I will illustrate by one of the examples from a previous article.

How the Word Rejection Creates Failure

I cannot tell you how many times I have heard the following remarks from would be entrepreneurs and people who want to court a man or a woman or try something new...

"I don't like selling because I hate rejection." 

"I am scared to go ask her out because I can't deal with the rejection."

"I am scared of trying something new because I don't want to fail and be rejected."

And so on...

They are usually not aware that they are making an important part of their job... their career... their relationships and life so much more difficult than it needs to be.

Because the word rejection carries emotional baggage as it conjures up memories like... 

1... Getting shot down when asking somebody out. 

2... Not getting a hug from a loved one when a hug was desperately needed.

3... Not being good enough for somebody else even though you did your best.

Making a lazy mental association of selling or not getting the date with rejection is just plain stupid... because nobody is going to like being rejected and that is the last thing you want in your mind when you are trying to communicate the value of your ideas and products.

Top salespeople... the ones who earn millions a year never think about selling in terms of rejection... if a situation or customer call does not go their way they use different words like speed bump or lifes delays are not lifes denials.

I am not talking about something theoretically here... I know from my own personal experience that using a more powerful word than rejection to describe your process can accelerate your success and it works equally well when you are courting!

When I first started out to learn the skill of courting and seduction many years ago... I had 20 so called rejections before I got anyone interested in going out on a meet up with me. 

Here is a fact... 

Some people feel utterly crushed when they get even one rejection... many of them give up because the rejection makes them so miserable.

In my case though I was not bothered because I never thought of them as rejections... I thought of them as stepping stones moving me forward to acquire the level of success I want to achieve... every day I removed those rejections from my thinking and learned from the experience and improved my game. 

Imagining how fabulous I would feel once I scored my first meet up with a woman who is 8 or 9... yes I set my bar High from the very beginning to be going out and meeting high quality women... I then used that emotional energy to meet high quality women in all kinds of situations and in my mind rejection did not exist... I was SUCCESSFUL! 

Eventually those stepping stones led to a whole new way of life and success... launching my business as a professional personal development consultant which includes social courting and relationships and as a writer.

How To Change Your Internal Dialogue

If you really want to be successful you will have to invest the extra effort to edit your internal dialogue so that it supports your goals. 

This is not at all difficult and here is the basic recipe...

1... Listen To Your Thoughts 

As you go through the day be mindful of the words that you use in your own mind to describe your experiences and those around you.

Negative thoughts are contagious so when you think and talk negatively... when you sit and worry with your spouse or your friends... you feed off each others negativity. 

In the end although the negative messages may start on the outside... they take up residence on the inside and will lead to sabotage on every level of your life and as a result of this kind of self programming the average person probably has more than 250 negative thoughts in a given day and when you break that down you are beating yourself up verbally at least once every two and a half minutes and these thoughts come in a steady stream... 

"I am fat... I do not feel good... I do not want to go to work... I hate my hair... it is raining... I am exhausted... I hate my life." 

And on and on and on with these negative thoughts in your own head... do these sound familiar?

2... Write Them Down 

Recording your internal dialogue on paper will help you see more objectively the words you use because you take them out of the context of your habitual mental use of them.

At the end of the day mark each word or term as positive... neutral or negative relative to what you are trying to acquire and achieve.

Where is your own mind helping you and where is your own mind against you?

3... Categorize Each Term 

Here is a way of turning negative experiences into positive ones simple by reframing words here are some examples...

Rejection... Speed bump...  re think and try a new way.

Frustration... Nervous Energy... be calm and focus.

Afraid...  Excited... New Experience to enjoy.

Failure... Lesson to learn from... Stepping Stone to SUCCESS!

Boss... Coach... Mentor to Emulate and learn from.

Feeling Good... Feeling Fantastic... Life is Great!

Disappointed... Surprised... Grow from the experience to be better.

Cold calling... Meeting new people... New opportunities

4.... Substitute More Powerful Words

For negative words... devise neutral alternatives. 

For neutral words... devise positive alternatives. 

For positive words... find alternative words that are even more positive.

Like in the example above.

When you start to focus and become aware of just how much you use negative words and start to change your dialogue... not just with your self also with those around you.

You become aware of the transformation that not only take place in you also in those around you who receive you and treat you in a more positive way.

5... Post The Alternatives Where You Can See Them

This is just a simple list with the old words in the first column pointing to the new words in the second column.

6... Make The Substitution Habitual

Whenever the old words show up in your internal dialogue consciously substitute the alternative word. 

Continue until the substitution is automatic.

The more time you invest transforming your internal dialogue in this way the more your thought processes will reinforce your quest for success.

Have you any thoughts or comments you would like to share with me on what I have written?

I would love to hear from you.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Loving... Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely

Dynamic Lifer... The Tribe of Dynamic Lifers

1... A person with a penchant for Science... creativity... books... writing... communication... fitness... women... sexing... sexuality... human relationships... psychology... physiology and any other area involving heavy use of the Intellect.

2... A bright person and glamorously Intelligent!

3... Ange is an Author... Speaker and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist... Sexologist and Multipreneur... who works with those men and women who desire to personally develop themselves and their relationships to become Dynamic Lifers... creators of their own life... relationships and wealth! 

4... If you are Happy and you Know it... you are becoming a Dynamic Lifer!

To Speak to Ange and arrange a consultation for what you would like help with CLICK HERE

"Transformation happens when people fall in love with a different version of themselves and their future!"

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