5 Tips to Help You Create A Positive First Impression
When Meeting Someone New 

By Ange Fonce

First impressions are powerful... they often last well past the initial meeting  and can many times define an entire “relationship.”

It has been said that someone forms an “impression” of you within 30 seconds into meeting you and often sometimes sooner... when we consider “relationships” we have at work... and in our personal lives... it becomes abundantly clear that those first 30 seconds are crucially important in establishing the frame and tone for the kinds of “relationships” we want to have in our lives.

In this article I want to share some “insights” and some tools, to having a “successful” first 30 seconds... 2 minutes with ANYONE... whether you are dealing with a boss... a co worker... a client... a new friend... a potential romantic partner... or just strangers you happen to meet or be introduced to... these ideas will help you establish your “presence... personality” and cause them to have “positive feelings” towards you... this is how you set a foundation for a “positive relationship.”

Demonstrate Value...

Probably the single most important thing you can do when meeting ANYONE is to demonstrate “value.” 

The idea of “creating value” is one that has profoundly changed my life... so much so that I now consider it one of the primary themes for my life... “value” can be difficult to quantify and also kind of self explanatory... in business if you are presenting “new ideas” and “solving problems” you are “creating” and offering “value”... likewise if you are interjecting “positivity” and fun into a “personal relationship”... you are “creating” and offering “value”... if you are bringing ANYTHING that person wants into their life... you are demonstrating “value.”

Sometimes just by being a strong... “personally confident” person you can “demonstrate value”... because the person you are dealing with knows what they will receive from you and  “knows” you are not sketchy... and “knows” you will not flake out on your “commitments.”

Another key behind demonstrating “value” is just indicating that you do not want anything from the other person... so many people in life want things from us and we sense that and then become naturally “resistant”...  we can sense when people are “needy” or “seeking validation”... or when people want something material from us... like “money” and we become “resistant” to it... just the way you can “sense” when others want something from you... people can “sense” it from you... you have to “focus”... and “commit” yourself... to “genuinely giving” to others of yourself first.

Sometimes it is easy to “think” we do not have anything to give and what I learned is even if I just make myself a “optimistic person” or put myself into a “positive mood” and “share” that with the person I am dealing with... I am giving them that same “positive feeling” and they will “subconsciously appreciate” me for it... if you can make someone “laugh... smile” or just make them “feel comfortable” and “safe” around you or demonstrate “like minded thinking”... they will want to be around you more... they will want to “socialize” with you... they will want to do “business” with you... and they will “recommend” people they “know” to do the same.

Even if you do have an aim or a goal in “mind” when it comes to your dealings with this person... that is okay... be “authentic” and “honest” and  with yourself and them about whatever it is you are trying to accomplish like close a deal... make a sell... getting an employee to buy into an initiative... having them accept some sort of social offer... even setting up a “meet up” for “courting.” 

It’s vital that you learn to genuinely “reframe” every interaction in your “mind” as being about GIVING VALUE first... you are not trying to sell someone something... you are seeking to solve a “problem” with your product or service... you are not trying to get that person to like you...  you are seeking for them to have a “positive experience” with you by being a “confident” and “positive person”... you need to focus your "thinking" in this “mindset” genuinely... when you “think” like this all the time... people and a whole world of “opportunities” will open up to you.

Make Eye Contact...

Eye contact demonstrates “confidence!” 

It is a remarkably powerful tool for “influencing” others and "how" people perceive you... even if you do not say a single word and you maintain solid “eye contact” throughout an entire interaction... that person will come away with the sense that you are a “confident person”... as I mentioned before “eye contact” is such a powerful tool... that you need to be careful “how” you use it. 

Staring “eye contact“ can in some instances indicate aggression... or other inadvertent social cues... be “mindful” of your facial expressions and more importantly be “mindful” of your “mental” and “emotional” state... in a weird way I buy into the poetic idea of the “eyes” being a “window to the soul.”

Sometimes the “look in your eye” is an indescribable thing.... and it always accurately “communicates” that you are nervous... afraid... angry... aggressive... sad... or happy... be “mindful” of “how” you are “feeling”... and what you are “thinking”... put yourself into a “positive confident mindset” and then let people see that in your eyes.

Technique... I often found it uncomfortable to look people directly in the eye for more than five or six seconds at a time... I felt like I was staring if I did not look away... and felt “unconfident” if I did look away... there are a number of different ways to deal with this... so keep that in “mind” and the simplest and perhaps most effective way is as follows... 

Make an imaginary triangle between the persons two eyes and their nose... now imagine three points of a triangle... one on their left eye... another on their right eye... and the final on their nose... then cycle between “focusing” on each of the three points... you will still be looking at their face... and your eyes will be moving so you do not appear to stare.

Keep Open Body Language...
Body language or "non verbal communication"  is "crucially important." 

A vast majority of our "communication" is "non verbal"... simply put... most of what we are "communicating" has nothing to do with words... you  are saying a lot with your "body language" and you need to be aware of the messages you are sending.

I do not consider myself a "body language" master by any means... yet one simple technique to keep in "mind" is to keep “open body language” during any interaction... keep it so that your body is angled slightly away from the person you are speaking with... you are still facing them and you are turned at an angle so that your shoulders are not squared to them... if your shoulders are squared with theirs it makes it feel like you are facing off with them... or trapping them.

With your body slightly angled “outward” it makes the interaction open... they are open to leave and others are open to come in... also "important" is that you are "communicating" that while you are "respectfully" engaging them... they have not fully captured your attention... and you are open to go at any time... as a conversation draws on... and gets deeper... more intricate or more personal... you can slightly bring in your angle to face them a little more directly.

Do Not Take Too Much Time...

Time is one of the most valuable things any of us have... and we should all be dedicated to using it wisely... it is best to "respect" yours and others "time"... when interacting with anyone for the first time... remember not too take too much "time."

The obvious challenge is that in certain instances of meeting someone for the first time... you might be naturally interacting with them for an extended period... like working together... being at a party or dinner... in that case my advice is to be succinct.

As a Author... I have learned the ultimate rule of "communication"  anywhere... in any situation is always to be "powerful" and "concise"... be "lucid" and get to the "point".

“Don’t use nine words when five will do.”

Is a phenomenal and useful piece of advice... whenever possible set a "definitive time frame" for the interaction and try to make it shorter than what they would expect.

“Okay... let us have a quick 30 minute meeting.”

“Let me talk to you about.... for 60 seconds.”

“Hey... nice to meet you... can I ask you a quick question... it will only take 30 seconds.”

Do not apologize for being there... do not lower your "status" to try and seek approval... be "focused" about why you are interacting with them... and be resolved about how long it will take... you set the "time limit" and stick to it.

Tone of Voice...

Practice speaking in a variety of "different ranges"... practice speaking in an "excited tone"... an "authoritative tone" and a more "personal tone" that indicates "deep interest" and "affection"... you will quickly learn that using one tone... “turned all the way up” does not really work well... what you want to do is combine all three... and other types of "voice tones"... to find one that is even and pleasant in all situations... use the different ranges to different degrees to "emphasize" certain areas of speech and give yourself an "interesting" way of "speaking"...  just do not sound monotone.

The best practice is to find someone who has a good "speaking voice" and who also has a similar natural range as you... if you are high... do not pick someone low and vice versa and then emulate them... "listen" to their voice... use a recording if you can get one and then record your own voice and "listen" to it.

A lot of people do not like the sound of their own voice when they hear it played back to them... get over it... you are "listening" to it so you can make "improvements" so pay "attention" and "notice" areas where you are inadvertently sounding a way you do not want to.

I noticed at times I was sounding overly harsh without meaning to... I thought the tone I was using was explanatory... yet "listening" to myself it was bordering on condescending... so I deliberately had to train myself to stop right before using what I thought was the “explanatory” tone and mix it with some more "optimism"... it balanced things out... so I sounded a lot more "compassionate" when explaining things to people... especially things they were having difficulty "understanding."

Practice... Practice... Practice…

Train yourself to become "aware" of "how" you are being perceived... especially in those first 30 seconds of meeting someone new... it is not about sucking up to people... or trying to get people to like you... it is about you taking "responsibility" for your own "personal public persona" and being the kind of person you want to be.

This is one of the most "important things" you can do in your own life... so do it and keep doing it.

Keep "practising"... be "aware" and get "better."

Have you any suggestions to add for "creating" that first Great Impression...

Thank you and may you enjoy a Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely

Ange is an  Author... Speaker... and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist and Sexologist... who works with men and women who desire to "personally develop" themselves and their "relationships" to become Dynamic Lifers... "creators" of their own "life" and "wealth!" 


Join today and become one of the Tribe... a DYNAMIC Lifer... and if you want to "share" or "forward to a friend" a writing... please go ahead... and let them know they can receive their own writings via e mail by directly joining The Tribe of Dynamic Lifers The DYNAMIC Express Magazine... I am sure they will "appreciate your consideration" of them.

Dynamic Life Development Systems 

Personal Development Academy