That Stops Them Connecting With Men 

An “In depth” Article

By Ange Fonce

Ever “courted” a man who you shared an “incredible connection” with and then he suddenly wanted his "freedom" or said he was "not ready" when you started to get close?

And you are left wondering... what is going on here?

Why does this happen for so many women with men?

Is it that all men are afraid of getting close? 

Or could there be something else going on here too... what women are “often doing” that helps “trigger” this kind of “response” in a man?

I have come to “understand” that the way lots of women talk about moving into to a more “secure” and COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP with a man... is a HUGE part of why men “stop” wanting the “relationship”... and my email inbox has a constant flow of e mails from women asking for “help.”

Too many women do not “understand” what they are “accidentally communicating” about themselves to a man when they become even the least bit “unsure” or “uncomfortable” about "where things are going."

And when it comes to “deciding” whether or not to move into a more “serious relationship” with a woman... men have a “finely tuned radar” for "how" a woman is acting and behaving.

To “learn” to “avoid” these kinds of “common male responses” to a “growing new relationship”... and to “know” exactly what to do instead... that will make a man feel “inspired” and “excited” for a “relationship” with you the way he has not “felt” with any other woman...   and to have you in his life... you need to READ THIS...
5 Turnoffs That Good Women Make That Stops Them Connecting With Great Men...
Now... are you one of the many single women in the world who would make an AMAZING PARTNER for a man... and cannot even find anyone decent to “meet up” with?

Do you ever “feel” like it is impossible to “understand” what a man is “thinking” when it comes to “courting” and “relationships?”

Do you ever “feel” that you could just skip the "games" and the “uncertainty” that come with “courting” and get straight to something REAL?

If you do... then I want to “share with you” a few “important ways” to stop missing out on a “connection” you would “love” to “share” with a man and are looking for... and start “finding” and “creating” what "you want" with a man.

There is something I want to “know” about you first though.

What Happens When You First Meet A Man You Like...?

I wonder “how” often this has happened to you... you meet a man you find ”attractive” and you go out on a “meet up” with him... the time you “share together” goes better than you imagined... and you find him even more “interesting” and “desirable” than you “thought” you would.

You “feel great” around him... and the conversation flows... you both seem to “connect” with each other and have all kinds of things in common... the more “time” you “share” with him... the more you become “excited” and “enthusiastic” about where things could go... and that you have finally met a man who is “fun... attractive”... AND who actually seems “emotionally open” and “healthy” as a person... to top it off... the “chemistry” between you both is AMAZING... and you “share” a steamy good night kiss that proves it... you can “feel” he is "feeling" it too.

This is something more than just another “meet up”... it is more than two people sharing “time” together...this is something “special” you "feel" and you are “excited”... that is why you cannot help yourself... and you “brain” goes into “stupid” mode.

Before you even hear from him again... you are telling your girlfriends all about him... what a great time you had... what it is like when you are together... and when you are going to see each other next... you are VERY excited about your new man... your “imagination” has gone into “overdrive” as you “imagine” introducing him to your friends... you even allow yourself  “fantasies” about all the ”fun things” you will do together in the weeks to come and what your life together could be like... you are already in a “relationship” with him in your “imagination” and you have a GREAT FEELING about this.

Best of all... he is calling you... text messages you and he wants to see you constantly... and he is not only “attractive” and “charming”... it turns out he is a really good person too... after a few more “meet ups”... it becomes HOT and STEAMY between you both and you get “naked” with him because you “feel” so “comfortable” together... and the sex is AMAZING... and your brain is now totally in “stupid” mode... and  it all “feels” so great that you say to yourself...

"At last... a real man I truly connect with... I have found my soul mate... I better not screw this up!"

It is that last part... 

“I better not screw this up.”

That becomes the “killer” of “attraction.”

What Happens When Fear And Doubt Sets In...

And just then you realize “how” much he is starting to “mean” to you as you become more and more “emotionally involved" with him and in the back of your “mind” it kind of freaks you out... and the past “relationship nightmares” flash back in your “mind”... there is no way you want to “feel” that awful pain you felt in the past ever again... and you start to “feel afraid” that the same things could happen again... your “mind” races with “fear” and “anxiety”... and your brain switches into “really stupid” mode of “flight or fight.” 

And you manage to keep it together... and "convince yourself" that it is different this time with this man... and that he is not one of those other guys.

And to make sure things keep “moving forward” in the “right direction”...you start trying a little harder with him to get it right this time... you do all kinds of nice things for him... you make the effort to find out all about him... understand him... and help him out with the things that are going on for him in his life... you even start to do things like favours... errands... etc. 

Just because you want him to “ how much you care” and to be close to him... in the back of your “mind” you really “think” he will “recognize” all the great things you are doing for him... and “how” amazing you and your “relationship” can be... with all you are doing for him and your “relationship”... he would be crazy not to want to be with you... the “problem” is you are the one who is “crazy” and your “brain” has "quit" altogether... and become "completely stupid" now... as you have gone into full on “needy people pleaser” mode... and “fear” is secretly running the show... and you start to “feel” something is “wrong” and you “panic.”

What Happens When You FEEL That "SHIFT" In Him...

Suddenly that same easy and free way of “loving” and being with each other “feels” different... it is becoming "forced" and "awkward."

You realize “how” much you are doing for him and all the ways you are trying... and then it hits you... he is not making much of an “effort” to do anything for you or your “relationship”... not in the way you are with him... then you “realize” that he is calling you less than he used to.

He does not seem as “excited” to be with you and share his “thoughts” and “feelings” as he used to be at first... he even stops making much in the way of plans and starts doing a lot of other things he was not doing before... and since you do not want to keep calling him... you wait for his call... “hoping” he will make weekend plans with you... ah... that deadly thing called “hope.”

And Thursday comes... and then Friday... and still no call... your “worst fears” are starting to be realized... and the first twinges of the “awful pain” are being sensed... yet you do not want to overreact.

So even though you are “hurt” and upset that he did not call you... you still want to be with him... so you reluctantly call him... you “convince” yourself there must be a “good reason” and that he is busy or something else.

What Happens When He Does Not Even Sound Like The Same Man...

When you finally get a hold of him... he talks like he hardly “knows” you and you have never been close... you try to be casual and ask him what he has been doing... and you want to “know” why he has not called you... then you find out he is going out and doing things with friends and other people...  ARGGGH... he did not even invite you!

Wait a minute... are not you two supposed to be an "item"... are you not supposed to be doing something TOGETHER on weekends and in your free time?

You start feeling really FRUSTRATED and CONFUSED.

Maybe he does not see what is going on... so you decide to let him “know how you feel" and "call him OUT on it." 

You tell him “how” upset you "feel" that he did not ask you to hang out with him and his friends... and you ask him what Is going on... and “why” he Is being this way with you... and he does not respond the way you would “want” or “expect” him too... instead of “listening” to you and your “feelings”... he gets "irritated" and ANGRY with you... as though you are "hassling" him.

After some arguing back and forth... he seems to shift gears in the conversation and says something that really makes your heart SINK... something you had a gut FEELING you would hear from him with this going on... he tells you...

"Look... you are great and the truth is that I am not ready or in the right place for any kind of serious relationship right now."

And he goes on to tell you about all the things going on in his life that are taking up his time and energy... and that he does not want to settle down right now.

Ouch... that awful pain from the past has just kicked in... your “brain” is "out to lunch" and nowhere to be seen... you are now riding on “full on wild emotions.”


Why is he acting like you are going to get in the way of the rest of his life?

Why did he ask you out in the first place... and spend all that time “sharing” himself being with you... and “connecting” with you if he did not want a "relationship" all along?

Could he have told you that when you first met... instead of asking you out?

Why did he “share” all that "time" with you and "sleep" with you if he did not "want" to be with you?

And “how come” he does not “recognize” or “appreciate” all the things you bring to his life... and all the things that you do for him?

At this point... you “feel” incredibly “hurt... frustrated... unappreciated... resentful” and “misunderstood”... you even become intensely UPSET and ANGRY with him... and with yourself... “how” could you have “misunderstood” what was happening and not have seen this coming!?

Why did he do all the things he did... and “why” did he SAY all those things that made you “think” that HE WANTED a "relationship" with you?

Now... if you have “experienced” a situation like this with a man before... then I really “feel” for you... and I want to “share” with you the “basics” of “how” to keep this “very common situation” for women... from ever happening to you again in this article. 

And when you work with me “directly” I will “share” with you “how” the COMMITMENT PROCESS works for a man and “how” to set things up right from the “start”... and ”how” to avoid these kinds of situation I described above in the first place... so that a man is the one “choosing” to have you in “his life” and not the other way around.

Now if you want a man to fall for you and want a “long term relationship”... then you cannot set up the “dynamic” where you are the one “needy people pleasing” to have him wanting to be with you... it has the “complete opposite  effect” on a “healthy man.” 

Now “read on” and  I will share with you the basics of “what to do” when a man who you share a real “connection... chemistry” and “attraction” with... PULLS AWAY from you just as you start to get closer and a little more "serious."

The LAST THING You Want To Do When A Man Shifts Gears...

Now... back to our story and this “frustratingly common situation” women run into with men.

In the story above... for lots of women the story does not end there when the man says he is not ready for anything serious... why is this?

Because they either do not want to “listen” to the man... or they “refuse” to believe him... because their “brain” has left them and they are just riding on “emotions”... and when that happens?

Crazy shit happens... that is what!

Some women actually go on to spend the next few weeks or maybe even MONTHS doing everything they can to try and win the man back... they “think” that if they can just get him to stop ignoring what it is that they “share” and to not be afraid... that the man will "come to his senses" and come back to them. 

If you have ever been in this situation yourself... or “known” a woman who was... here are the “5 most common ways" women “respond”... that simply “do not work” and push men away or turn them off for good...

1... Pretending you do not want anything serious either and keep on sleeping with the man "casually"... and “hoping” that things will grow from the "physical relationship"... into something more... and there is that dreaded word again “hope.”

2... Staying close to him by trying to become his "best friend" as you help him in his life and with his problems... all the while “hoping” and “imagining” the "pay off" of a "real relationship" for your good deeds once he recognizes how great you are... you will notice by now... that “hope” becomes a common theme from here on.

3... Trying to make him jealous by telling him you are seeing other men... even if you are not... or going out with other men and doing things with them... not because you like them... because you are “hoping” that he will find out and want you back

4...  Getting upset with him and telling him he is dumb... immature and acting like a little BOY... and that he is just scared of a “real relationship” and a “commitment”... and then “hoping” to get him to have a “relationship” with you to "fix" himself

5... Hoping to make him “interested” in you by complimenting him... doing nice things for him... taking up things he is interested in to be around him... and being available to him at any time he should show interest... this is trying to be his "best friend"... yet different since it is often still "sexual."

Here is the thing...

None of these “responses” work with men... why... because where are you ACTUALLY being REAL?

I “know” women have a finely tuned “bullshit detector”... well Ladies I have news for you... us men have a dam good one too!

And strangely enough... even though these “female tactics” universally do not get men to “respond” in any way... these are still the “most common ways” that women who do not “understand” how men "work" continue to use... and get the same "crap results" for themselves every time... which has me asking the question...

“Why do so many women respond in these ways in the first place?”

The short answer is this...

If a woman "responds" to men in the 5 ways outlined above... it is NOT because she "learned" it by seeing it work for other women with other men.

Absolutely not.

It is because she does what MAKES SENSE to HER in the moment.

And you know what?

If you have “shared time” around men... as a WOMAN... you have probably come to the conclusion... that men DO NOT MAKE MUCH SENSE... to you as a WOMAN!

See where I am going here?

If you try and use what “makes sense” to YOU as a woman with a man... odds are you are going to get very poor results... and end up “frustrated... confused” and “hurt.”

Which means...

If you want to start getting “better outcomes” and “results” when it comes to men... and you want to be able to “communicate” with a man in a way that “brings him closer”... then you are going to have to "learn" to STOP doing what makes "sense" to you as a woman... and “learn” to “understand” men... and START doing what it is that makes "sense" to a man and FEEL ATTRACTED and MORE INTERESTED in you.

A NEW APPROACH... Shifting Your PERSPECTIVE To Get Better Results...

In other words... the “biggest challenge” most women run into when it comes to "connecting" to men and "progressing" into a “real relationship” with a "real man"... is not being able to see past their own MINDSET and the “approaches” they have been using that have not worked for themselves.

Now... if you can learn to "understand" how your "mindset" affects "how" you "interpret" and "respond" to a man... and you can start to get the kind of PERSPECTIVE and AWARENESS that will lead you to "knowing" what is really going on with a man... and "how" you can "respond" in ways that does not drive him away.. then things are quickly and naturally going to fall into place for you.

If you want to KNOW how men “think” and what makes them respond POSITIVELY to you... then it is very simple....

Learn about Men and get to “understand” them! 

Honestly... when you “learn” about men... a giant light bulb will go off in your head... and you will finally realize “why” you have not been able to be “successful” with men in the past... and “what to do“ so that you never have to go through the common story I told above.

So What Is It That Makes A Man Take Things To The Next Level...?

The "answer" is very simple...

Because he WANTS to... it is his CHOICE and he WANTS YOU in HIS LIFE!

Now... let is go deeper into “his choice”...  men have all kinds of ways of “thinking... seeing things” and “behaviours” that are not completely “conscious”... and are what I will call more BIOLOGICAL or INSTINCTUAL... these are things that have been instilled in them over thousands and millions of years of "conditioning" during “courtship” and “mating” rituals with women... when a man is looking for a woman... a part of his “instinctual wiring"... unconsciously tells him to look for a woman who is “healthy” and "fit"... not just “physically” healthy... “emotionally” healthy too... the last thing a "healthy" man wants in his life... is a woman who is a full on "unstable emotional drama queen."

This means that men are “biologically wired” to look for and feel "attracted" to women who have the “qualities” and “traits” that indicate a “high level” of “health” and "fitness”... and this "screening process" that is going on inside a mans “mind” is largely UNCONSCIOUS... and is the “instinctual primal animal” in us as Humans... women have a similar process going on in themselves too.

In other words... a man cannot just walk up to a woman and say...

"Hi... I am looking for a mate... I would like to know if you would make a good mate for me... are you any of the following?”

A... Emotional stable and secure in yourself so you will make a great partner for me and allow me to expand in my life instead of having to stay small to make sure you are comfortable?

B... Physically fit and healthy so you can conceive a healthy child... give birth and raise him or her?

C... Genetically fit so that you have a high likelihood to bear successful offspring by passing off great qualities like size... strength... intelligence... immunity... etc?

D... Intelligent... funny and resourceful so that you can not only be a mate that makes me feel attracted to you and want to conceive lots of children... and also help in this world of hard to come by resources?

E... Going to make a great mother who can care for our child and raise it while I am out trying to provide?

Do you catch my drift here?

If a man was to walk up to you and “actually” say these things to you... you would be looking at him very strangely and calling him “weird”... and yet women have a similar process gong on in them too... UNCONSCIOUSLY at the “instinctual primal animal” level in them.

This is part of the reason why so often a woman will ask a man what he is “feeling” one way or another... or why he is acting different or not interested in a "relationship"... and he cannot explain it... it is just the way he FEELS... either he FEELS ATTRACTED... or he does not... and let us be “honest” here... you as a woman are exactly the same too... you either “feel it” or you do not for a man... and that is the “basics” of what is called “chemistry.”

Of course...  these "instinctual biological buttons" are not the only thing going on inside a mans “mind”... we have a “psychology” too.


Men do have a more CONSCIOUS COGNATIVE processes for the way they “choose a woman” and for the way they “feel”... mens "brains” have evolved to work “differently” to a womans "brain.” 

Womens "brains" are more evolved “emotionally”... while mens brains are more evolved “cognitively.”

If trying to cram all this into your “mind” and “understand” what it means... and how to “respond” to all these things while trying to have a “real conversation” with a man seems ridiculous and daunting to you... it should... the “reality” is that you cannot sit and “think” to yourself... 

"Gee... I would like him to think I would make a good mate who could rear successful and healthy children... I will tell him about how healthy me and my family are."

It just does not work that way... it would be simpler if it did... yet we have evolved this complicated thing called “psychology” which can get in the way... and that is what makes us Human Beings and more than just a Human Animal... and  so a man looks at much subtler "cues" both “psychological” and “emotional” about a woman that tell him what to “think.”

Some of these "cues" are...

A... Physical Appearance... which is the obvious one... and if you have a specific hip to waist ratio... without consciously "measuring" it... a man will “see it” and possibly “feel” a “physical attraction.”

B... Health... things like how “white the whites” in your eyes are... your “scent”... and the “tone” and “nature” of your “skin” and the "luster" of your hair... are all “subtle indicators” of a “healthy immune system”... men find bright eye whites... certain “natural scents” and “smooth skin” very “attractive”... not because they “know” consciously that they “indicate” that a woman is “healthy” and will have a high likelihood of “success” for offspring... it is because they FEEL ATTRACTED to these things by “instinct.”

C... Psychological And Emotional Fitness... this is a BIG one for the “psychology” side of “attraction”... if a woman has the kind of “personality” and "attitude" about her that is “personally confident” with "healthy personal esteem" and “fun” to be around... and that she is “enthusiastic... stimulating... exciting... intelligent... optimistic... consistent.. stable” and “trustworthy”... then a healthy man “consciously” will see her as a “good long term mate.”

To find out all the things that “truly interest” and “attract men” to women... plus the more “subtle” and ”complex things” that make a man become EMOTIONALLY INVOLVED with a woman... it would take you a long time to figure it all out... years of unnecessary trial and error... and I have done the work for you.

I have “invested” my time doing over 25 years of “study... research... observation... interviews”... etc... to get deep inside the “biology” and “psychology” of men and women... and I have also “invested” years talking with men and women about every question under the sun about “how” to “create” the “relationship life” they want to “share” with each other. 

It also does not hurt that I happen to be a man myself who has been through all kinds of “situations” in “courting” and “relationships” with women... and the “mistakes” they have made with me... so I have an “experienced perspective” of “how” these things “work for a man” and the “mistakes” women make that kills “attraction” in a man.

Do You KNOW How A Mans COMMITMENT PROCESS Really Works...

If you would like to “learn” how men “think” when it comes to “courting” and then his “commitment process”... and "how" a man really “thinks” about a woman and getting ”involved” in a “real relationship” with her... then I can “teach” you what you need to “know” and “understand” about building solid "attraction" with a man... women who do not “understand” what the COURTING and COMMITMENT PROCESS is like inside a “mans mind”... will keep running into the same painful situations... frustrations and traps with men.

The way a man “grows close to a woman”... the “reasons” why he “chooses her” over another woman... and “when” and “why” he decides to start “investing himself” with her and “growing" a real and "committed relationship” is simply different than it is for most women.

One of the biggest "make it or break it" points for women in “relationships” with men is when you start to “grow close” and want to move from just a casual and unspoken thing into a “deeper” and more “intimate relationship”... and if you “know” much about men... then you probably already “know” that the answer with a man in this situation is NOT to ask him for a “commitment.” 

Lots of women try this and become “frustrated” and “upset” when the man they “thought” they were close to completely pulls away from them and even tries to “end the relationship all together”... if you want to “grow your relationship” with a man... the best way to move into a “committed relationship”... is not to come up against his EMOTIONAL RESISTANCE to “commitment” when you bring it up.

The “best relationships” that women enjoy most with a man and that last the longest... are the ones where THE MAN is “leading” the woman into a “committed relationship”... and HE is asking HER to COMMIT TO HIM... and be PART OF HIS LIFE!

And there is the “key” to open the door.

For the greatest “happiness” and “success” with a man... and to be able to quickly and easily move from a “casual situation” to a “real” and “committed relationship” with a man... the answer is to "learn"...

1... How the “commitment process” works for him... and what each of the “critical steps” and “experiences” are... that he “needs” to have before he will truly “psychologically” and “emotionally” commit.

2... How to make a man want to “choose” to be with you and “lead” you in to a “committed relationship.”

3... How to keep your “relationship growing” and “healthy” so that you both stay “emotionally involved” and “fulfilled” by the “relationship.”

This is exactly what you will need to “learn” and “understand”... if you really want to share "love" in your life with a man and you want it to LAST on your next go round. 

Do not make the mistake of  “waiting” for your “relationship” to “figure itself out.”

Do not wait for a man to “figure it” out and make your “relationship” work for you.

Do not wait until you are “courting” the right man and starting a “relationship” to then “learn” how to help it grow and make it work with him.

Empower yourself by “learning”... and making it happen NOW!

So is it “time” for you to “feel” what love is meant to “feel like” with a man? 

And “how” to have a man... “help” to make it last with you... and make the rest of your love life easier... more fun... and less frustrating and uncertain today by taking one step...

Learn about and “know”... how to “understand” men... and their “commitment process” to “relationship.”

And if you would like “help” to “knowing” and “understanding” men and their “commitment process”... please do Contact Me.

As always... leave a man or woman all the better for knowing you.

Thank you and may you enjoy a Prosperous and Dynamic day!

Yours Sincerely

Ange is an  Author... Speaker... and Dynamic Peak Performance Personal Development Consultant... and Humanistic Counselling Psychologist who works with men and women on line and real world who desire to "personally develop" themselves and their "relationships" to become Dynamic Lifers... "creators" of their own life and wealth!

Recommended Reading...

Simple Science Of Male Female Attraction Factors

By Ange Fonce

Do you ever "think" why certain men... and women are more "attractive" than others?

What are the "factors" that affect your decision to select a mate?

The answers lie deep in the... Primal Brain.

The evolution of "attraction" in men... and women started to develop in long ago in the Stone Age... and we as Human Beings... have evolved a large number of... "attraction factors"... over thousands of years which have evolved our "natural laws of mate selection."

Now you would think how ...

Join today and become one of the Tribe... a DYNAMIC Lifer... and if you want to "share" or "forward to a friend" a writing... please go ahead... and let them know they can receive their own writings via e mail by directly joining The Tribe of Dynamic Lifers The DYNAMIC Express Magazine... I am sure they will "appreciate your consideration" of them.

Dynamic Life Development Systems 

Personal Development Academy